


Sunshine

by Azzish



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Character Death, F/F, M/M, Multi, Shooting, Singing, Suicide, Trauma, You Are My Sunshine, multi part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2017-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 06:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12812073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzish/pseuds/Azzish
Summary: Don't let the title fool you. This is fucking depressing and sad. Someone dies, and this song is sad when you use it like this!





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Xerethra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xerethra/gifts).



> I wrote this and then Xerethra broke me with the other perspective. Thanks for that boo, but yeah, figured I could post this and the next two parts up here.

"No no nononono Please, don't do this Adore please, look at me! You can't leave me here alone!" Bianca fell next to her partner and pulled her limp form into her arms. Adore coughed and a small amount of blood dripped from her lips, "Dorey...I need you..." 

"Y-You know all the times you said you couldn't sing?" Adore panted, her eyes seemed glazed over though she was trying to focus on Bianca's face. 

Bianca blinked and nodded, "Y-yes and why-why would you bring this up now? W-we need to stop the bleeding! You're going to d- pass out if we don't."

"You would always joke abou-about how you coul-could only sing four notes," Adore gave a labored laugh, "B-but You w-would hum and sing wh-while you worked....I loved hearing it...."

"Shh, you're fucking delusional from bloodloss hush," Bianca brushed some of the faded once Fire Engine Red hair from Adore's face before looking around, "SOMEONE HELP US! PLEASE!" 

"B-bee?" Adore reached up to touch Bianca's face and pull her gaze back. �  
"Y-yes?" Bianca sniffed, a tear falling down her cheek, Adore gently yet shakily wiped it away, "What is it baby?" Her voice cracked. 

"Would you sing....Please?" 

Bianca looked around again, praying someone would help them...but they were alone... So she took a deep breath and held Adore closer.

'You are my sunshine,  
My only Sunshine,  
You make me happy,  
When skies are grey,'

She watched as Adore's breathing slowed, her eyes fell away from Bianca's face and up to the night sky shining above the ally they were in,

'You'll never know dear,  
How much I love you,' 

With what seemed like too quiet and simple a way to leave this world, especially for the firework she knew Adore was, her breathing stopped and tears streamed down Bianca's cheeks, 

"Please... don't take my sunshine away..."


	2. Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The day you lose someone isn't the worst, It's all the days after that they stay dead." -The 12th Doctor, Heaven Sent

Someone once said, "The day someone dies isn't the worst. It's all the days after that they stay dead." 

The day Roy was found in an ally clutching the corpse of the person he loved, still in drag and sobbing was one of the worst days of his life. He had been dragged away from Danny's body with kicking and screaming, Detox and a paramedic holding him back from his bleeing heart. He had been pulled inside eventually collapsing. 

When he woke up in a hospital bed, Shane in a chair next to him, Michelle close by, with a headache that threatened to split his skull in two, alone, and the memories of the night before falling on him like a crumbling skysraper, was the single most terrible day he had ever felt. And it had almost seemed like every day since then had become just as bad. 

There had been investigations, long nights being unable to sleep without seeing Danny's still and painted face, hearing their voice, floods of fan letters and condolences, calls, visits, flowers, gifts, and hugs. Whispered, "I'm so sorry, Roy" or "We'll all miss them so much." "You both deserved better," but no one knew that more than Roy. 

He dropped out of the tour, and went back to California. Roy felt like his entire purpose in life had left the second they closed the coffin at the funeral. Having Shane and Bonnie there was the only thing that kept him together, then driving back to his apartment, and then, any and all of the booze he could find. Roy hadn't gotten shit-faced drunk in a long time. 

He tried to stay in the apartment they had lived in together but everything reminded him of Danny. A lipstick he had borrowed from Roy and never given back tucked away in their makeup drawer. A wig that happened to be mixed in with Roy's own. An old band t-shirt that Dan had always told Roy he should listen to but never got around to doing. 

There were moments when he would find something and be caught staring at it, lost in whatever memory the item had sparked, or completely empty at the sight. He packed up what he could take with Shane's help and sold the memory haunted apartment. 

He tried to perform again after a month of trying to be alright. He stopped half-way through his half-hearted attempt and left the stage with a muttered, "I'm sorry....I can't..." with murmmurs and disapointed calls in Bianca Del Rio's wake. 

He sobbed in his dressing room until his makeup was almost completely gone and his desire to ever put on heels and go on stage had vanished. 

It reminded him of how wonderful Danny was and how much they belonged on the stage. How alive they became when people were there to watch them. Roy had spent many a show watching them bare their soul on stage from the wings. He couldn't do it anymore...so he retreated to his small apartment, and his stitching. 

He could loose himself in the humming of the sewing machine and the feeling of the fabric beneath his fingers. He could ignore his pain with the balm of his work before drinking himself into a borderline coma. 

He became a shut-in, never leaving except to take Sammy and Dede on walks that were always short and closeby. No-one saw him anymore. 

He wouldn't perform, and hadn't opened the Drag Closet Shane had insisted on him keeping. He didn't even look at it anymore. And soon he faded away into a back seat. 

Occasionally asked after, never saught out, he fell away. And every day, his heart ached for his Danny. For his Adore. His soulmate. 

The one he had to watch die in his arms again and again in his nightmares. Becuase no miracle in the world could bring them back. And everyday Roy had to rediscover that.


	3. Part Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Suicide

Shane woke up with a text from three in the morning, 'Take care of them. Thank you.' 

He had gotten dressed and drove to Roy's without a second thought. He was going to be too late, he knew it Roy had been exceptionally distant the past few months, The house was dark when he entered, using the spare key Roy had given him.. Sam and Deedee asleep on their bed, only stirring to look up at who had entered, going back to sleep when they say it was someone familiar.  
He found the body in the bathroom with a bottle of pills empty beside him. and Danny's picture clutched in his hand. Shane sat there staring at the peace on his old friends face, the man he hadn't seen in almost a decade. Blissfully still He figured it made sense. As wrong as it was. He was where he needed to be and where they could be together. Shane still couldn't hold back tears.

He called their friends, and Roy's mother and family. He took it upon himself to make sure everything went alright for his funeral. The press all wanted the story but Shane and Roy's family turned them away, knowing that Roy would want this to be private. 

He spent many a night curled up in Andrews' arms missing his two best friends. The ABC was all but gone. All the memories and chats, and late nights together. Memories he was now the sole owner of. 

He just thanked God every day he had Andrew. 

And then Roy was six feet under, resting next to Danny, and a hole had been blown in his heart. 

It took him a month to find the letter. 

 

To Whom It May Concern,  
I know that opening is stupid and cliche, but I don't know who's going to find me. I've made the choice to end it.  
This stupid excuse of a life I've been trying to find a meaning to isn't worth it. I'm old. I'm tired. I have nothing left. I miss them so much... I'm guessing, and my guessing is other peoples researched answer, that this will not come as a shock to more than the other people who are shocked.  
I leave my mother everything, not including Samson and Delilah, I leave them to Shane. He knows their schedule and food and bullshit, and they know him and like him.  
I'm sorry. I gave it my best. I wish I could find another way.  
Roy Haylock  
BDR

It was tucked into a ring box. Tucked inside with the note were two rings. Roy had plans....and they never got fulfilled. 

The world had shifted in a way that was almost unnoticeable, however. But two bright lights were taken out of it, and to all who knew them, the world was dimmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -A/N: Suicide is a touchy subject for me. And it is for most others too, So I'm gonna put my two cents in the margins here, skip if you want. This one-shot romanticizes it and I want everyone who is struggling with thoughts about it or has even considered or attempted to end their life. Don't. Because I can promise you, it gets better. You may not see it at the time. It may seem like all of the shit never ends, but I promise it does. Look around, find the sun on your face and the snowflakes that fall, find the music you can zone out and vibe to, find the person who makes you smile even when you're determined not too, find the one thing you can do that helps you ease it all, Draw, run, create, burn, live, breath, fight it all and never let a bitch see you sweat, because They. Aren't. Worth. You. Everything that has ever stood against you is there to make you conquer and grow. And By Thunder, you can make them see it! I'm an open ear, and there are always people around to just listen. Keep trooping, and Keep On Going! You never know what the next chapter holds. Azzish, out!-


End file.
